I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
