How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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