Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
