Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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