my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
