Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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