My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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