no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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