It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
