I swear she didn't look like that last week.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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