do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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