Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
