no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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