Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
