Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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