Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
