Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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