I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
