I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
