so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
