Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
