I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
