Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
