i barfeds in our rink
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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