I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
