Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
