Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love having hate sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
