3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
