Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
