very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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