so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
