She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
