brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
