OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
