i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
