Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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