Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
