I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
