i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's never too late to be topless.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Randomize
