You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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