did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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