strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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