I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
