He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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