last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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