my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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