Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
