yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
