it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
