I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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