It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
