Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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